So this is a post I did for breaking adult over a year ago. It’s something I needed to revisit myself. I’m hoping that revisiting this post can bring me peace and any others struggling the sense of comfort that they are not alone.
For me, struggling with jealousy, hate or anger is one of the most mind crushing experiences ever. Being an adult I would have thought that I would be in control of my emotions by now. In fact it’s worse. It’s worse because you finally realise that human beings cannot be controlled. Their actions cannot be tamed by you and it’s very frustrating. I have always thought myself to be quite down to earth and at peace with disgruntled people but there often comes an issue which affects me so deeply I ponder on the what ifs and buts for months. I can be sat doing my work and I haven’t thought about that issue in a while then it pops into my brain like an unwanted mole scratching my brain to remember what upset me so greatly. And then I break down. For the 100th time.
I am sure that I am not the only one this happens too. In fact Im sure we have all been hurt by someone. But what do you do when that person doesn’t even know they have hurt you? What happens when that person has just been completely selfish and ignorant in their actions but it wasn’t directed at you? Or if they just ignore the fact they’ve hurt you? Or worse – they don’t care.
How can you be angry at that person?
You begin to feel yourself falling into an insanity of uncontrollable thinking – such as wishing that thing had never happened or wishing something worse. You feel disgusted in yourself for feeling that way but you cannot see the light of the situation. You begin to question the person’s behaviour. “Are they actually that stupid” “Are they mental” “Were they spurned out the devils butthole”
It’s one big heap of doggy doo.
And unfortunately there isn’t anything you can do to correct the situation.
But you can correct yourself.
Give yourself time to cry. It’s ok. Honestly. Go ahead and cry baby. And if you think about it a year later and want to cry. That’s ok too. Because you’re hurting. And you’ve got to let it out in a healthy way, so you don’t find yourself beating yourself inside.
Be angry. Be so angry you could scream. Then roll that anger up and throw it away. Nothing positive comes from anger – Maybe art but leave that to the Tate Modern.
Attempt to find any positive from the situation. It may be that it made you more wary or it gave you the confidence to do something. Use it honey bee.
Talk to a friend. Talking to someone can help as you can sprawl everything out on the table and they will give you an honest answer.
Some people won’t understand why you are so beat up. That ok too because maybe they haven’t been through that situation. Don’t hold them too it. Find another person to talk too who may understand.
Write down your feelings if you aren’t ready to speak out – you can look back at in a year and see how far you’ve grown from it and how better off you are.
Pain isn’t permanent boo. Keep reminding yourself that.
If you need to take some time away from people then do. Book a spa weekend. Have a Netflix marathon with a bottle of vodka. Sleep. Eat. Go for a walk. Do you for a while.
Do something to kick them back in the teeth. Yes cutie – get up, get out and be better than they are! (I don’t mean actually kicking them in the teeth – you’re better than that!)
Find things that make you happy and replace the negative feelings with that. You’re sad – draw a picture. You feel angry – go for a walk. You feel hate – Listen to music.
Remember there are good people out there. Find those people and make them your squad. They will build you up and make you a better person.
Turn your emotions into compassion for the person that hurt you.
Tell yourself you are normal to feel this way. You are.
If it gets too much please seek help in the form of a professional. Don’t let it get to a bad point my little cherry cupcake. It’s ok not to be ok.
Look at the good you do have in your life and be thankful.
Start a fresh and work on a new improved you.
Humans can be nasty little critters and it’s totally unfair when you get dragged into their nasty pit. But rise like the eagle I know you are. Brush down your wings and fly to a higher place.
Keep cheery my snack’a’jacks. We all get hurt sometimes.