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JUST JESS.

Why am I hungover still. 

I started drinking on Friday night. It’s now Sunday. SUNDAY. And I am still dying. 

Now I get that I am now older than I used to be. Ya know, drinking a bottle of vodka, neat, at an under 18s disco then getting up the next day to have a great day out at Claire’s accessories and maccies with your mates. And you’d feel fine! But come on! I’m 26! If this gets worse I might have to go T Total! 

It started on Friday night. A bottle and a half of prosecco and a bottle of Aldi’s spiced rum down and I was away. You know your in a bad way when to start playing The Pogues – Fairy tale of New York At 1am in July. I did the normal of half washing your face, brushing your teeth and attempting to strip off without breaking your legs. I even made sure I had plenty of water. Then fell asleep in my little drunken ball. 

Saturday morning and I wake up feeling ok. Yes I am back. I’m back to 16 years old and I’m ready to go. I make the rounds of coffee for everyone, clean up the front room and make the bacon. God knows you need bacon the next day. 

Half an hour after eating, a demon woke within me. The strength I had in the morning was sucked out of my body. The hangover was on a delayed reaction. It slipped on in like a serpent, making me become possessed with satan. 

The headache started.

The tiredness kicked in.

The sickness began. 

Is this now an age thing? Where I just teases you into thinking your bad decisions have paid off? But then it hits you full force with the taste of regret?

I had to spread eagle my sofa. Drinking ice cold milkshakes. Watching episodes of goosebumps and horrible histories. I lay in that position for a good few hours until I finally dragged my sorry ass to bed for a nap. 

Upon awaking I felt ok. Yes a little delicate but no where near as bad as before then nap. I made my way to the only place that will make me feel remotely happy when hungover. KFC. Stuffed my face full of fried chicken then began to have a cheeky hair of the dog. 

Bad idea. It doesn’t work. It smells like your burps and it instantly makes you feel like shit. 

My liver started kicking my spinal cord and I ended up in bed at 10pm. Sunday has been the same. All I want to do is sleep and eat. 

Why is this happening? Is this a thing that happens to all older people? Do we just become unable to drink anymore? 

I’m sad and I need nuggets and Disney movies. 

Until next weekend my babies, when work sucks and wine helps! 

Remember that I love you 

X

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Nobody can feel your pain. 

Shit happens. But sometimes that shit to you feels like the end of the world. 

Recently I went through some pretty deep and horrible heartache. Now this isn’t me saying wah wah wah shower me in attention. This is me realising that only you can fix the pain.

Emotional pain for me personally is the worst pain. If you have a broken leg you can fix it in 6 weeks with a cast and pain killers. If you see someone with a broken leg you can sympathise with them on the pain. But pain in your head and heart? You can’t pop a plaster on it and hope for it to heal. 

I find that people don’t understand your pain. If they can’t see it or explain it, it’s often hard for people to sympathise with. I’m not saying that all humans are ice creatures who understand no pain, I’m saying that it’s hard for people to understand your pain.  

For example, you might be emotionally exhausted but covering it well. You spill your glass of milk and that for you is the last straw. Now we all know about the saying “don’t cry over spilt milk” but I question why? Yes someone might think it’s pathetic and over exaggerated, But what if to you, that’s the end of the world. Why are you not allowed to cry and people understand? 

They don’t understand Hun because they are not you. You are you, and you are allowed to be sad at whatever you want to be sad at. Regardless of if people understand at all. 

You can’t relay on none professionals to understand how you are feeling and why you are feeling this way. Baby if you need to cry. Cry. Don’t ever feel the need to keep things held up inside because you are scared that people won’t understand. You will find good people in your life who may not completely understand your feelings but they will hold your hand through it. Keep those people. 

Ask them for help and guidance. If your feelings are overwhelming go and seek professional help. Mental pain isn’t a quick healing process, but it can be healed. Start with within. Take your time. Look at how beautiful you are and how you deserve to feel happy and at peace. 

Nobody understands how you feel. Because only you feel it. Only you can decide what’s right for you to heal the pain. But do it in a healthy way. Don’t ever put yourself into harm, you don’t deserve that. Scream. Cry. Binge watch Netflix. Eat a tub of B&J. Sleep. Be happy one day. Be sad the next. Nobody can tell you what’s right or wrong with how you feel. 

Look after yourself and start to heal. It may seem a marathon but you will cross the finish line. Days. Weeks. Months. Years later. It’s your race, it’s your pace.

Keep going. Keep strong and..

Remember that I love you. 

xo

Goals and Aspirations 

I’m a big believer in setting yourself goals. I’m also very lazy and often forget these goals and never actually complete them. Don’t hate the player. 

So I’v decided to get myself a little journal. Nothing fancy just your average joe note book.my plan is to set myself daily goals and weekly goals. Just little things that will make me feel accomplished. 

So every Sunday i will plan for the week, for example: I’m currently trying to learn a new Language so every evening I have penned in that I do one lesson on Duolingo, which is amazing btw. Other daily goals will be to drink 8 glasses of water and have at least 5 pieces of fruit or veg. 

I also want to set myself challenges so when I go swimming to do 40 lengths instead of bobbing up and down like a puffa fish. Or at the weekend to walk 5k. Make sure Moisturise my whole bod at least once a week. Yes my skin care routine is horrific and it takes a least a Litre of soap and glory. Ha. Soz everyone. 

I feel like doing this will help combate feelings of being low. Because even if you only drink 8 glasses of water a day and don’t do your other goals you’ve accomplished one thing. You are a winner. 

Also set yourself monthly, yearly and 5 yearly goals. For example if you want to save some money. At the end of each day tot up what you have saved. You are one step closer to getting that dream handbag or trip to New York. 

Fill it with ideas and scribbles of the day. Maybe you saw a dress you loved or an image that you just had to copy. Maybe a song lyric really touched your mood. It’s yours to personalise and beautify. 

Little things my lambs lead to a happy healthier you. 

Send me your Tips on how you set your goals or keep track of you accomplishments. I wanna know how you guys succeed! 

Happy living babies – remember that I love you. 
xx

International women’s day

Happy international women’s day to all my gorgeous girlies! 

I hope you all feel full of strength and courage! You deserve to feel the world poppet. 

let’s remember all the women who have fought to create what we have now. Pay them a quick thank you in your thoughts. These are the women who bore us. 

As much as we have come so far as a sex, we still have a long way to go. There are still girls out there who believe they are not an equal to a man. Who believe that they are not worthy. Educate these girls. Let them love who they wish. Show them how precious they are to the world. How they can do whatever they want to. We need to stand together and bring them the justice they deserve. 

Stop people seeing feminist as a dirty word. It isn’t. It’s strong and brave. We aren’t trying to bring men down. We want to stand alongside them. We want to build each other up. It’s about equality. Not being superior. Remember that. Teach that. Show that. 

I want all my readers to feel empowered. To feel strong. Feel safe. Build other women up. Build yourself up. 

You are more than a princess. 

Celebrate today. Celebrate tomorrow. Every day do something that will pave the way for women and man kind to be better and peaceful. 

And most of all – 

Remember that I love you. 
xx

A Revisit 

So this is a post I did for breaking adult over a year ago. It’s something I needed to revisit myself. I’m hoping that revisiting this post can bring me peace and any others struggling the sense of comfort that they are not alone. 

For me, struggling with jealousy, hate or anger is one of the most mind crushing experiences ever. Being an adult I would have thought that I would be in control of my emotions by now. In fact it’s worse. It’s worse because you finally realise that human beings cannot be controlled. Their actions cannot be tamed by you and it’s very frustrating. I have always thought myself to be quite down to earth and at peace with disgruntled people but there often comes an issue which affects me so deeply I ponder on the what ifs and buts for months. I can be sat doing my work and I haven’t thought about that issue in a while then it pops into my brain like an unwanted mole scratching my brain to remember what upset me so greatly. And then I break down. For the 100th time.
I am sure that I am not the only one this happens too. In fact Im sure we have all been hurt by someone. But what do you do when that person doesn’t even know they have hurt you? What happens when that person has just been completely selfish and ignorant in their actions but it wasn’t directed at you? Or if they just ignore the fact they’ve hurt you? Or worse – they don’t care.
How can you be angry at that person?
You begin to feel yourself falling into an insanity of uncontrollable thinking – such as wishing that thing had never happened or wishing something worse. You feel disgusted in yourself for feeling that way but you cannot see the light of the situation. You begin to question the person’s behaviour. “Are they actually that stupid” “Are they mental” “Were they spurned out the devils butthole”
It’s one big heap of doggy doo.
And unfortunately there isn’t anything you can do to correct the situation.
But you can correct yourself.
Give yourself time to cry. It’s ok. Honestly. Go ahead and cry baby. And if you think about it a year later and want to cry. That’s ok too. Because you’re hurting. And you’ve got to let it out in a healthy way, so you don’t find yourself beating yourself inside.

Be angry. Be so angry you could scream. Then roll that anger up and throw it away. Nothing positive comes from anger – Maybe art but leave that to the Tate Modern.

Attempt to find any positive from the situation. It may be that it made you more wary or it gave you the confidence to do something. Use it honey bee.

Talk to a friend. Talking to someone can help as you can sprawl everything out on the table and they will give you an honest answer.

Some people won’t understand why you are so beat up. That ok too because maybe they haven’t been through that situation. Don’t hold them too it. Find another person to talk too who may understand.

Write down your feelings if you aren’t ready to speak out – you can look back at in a year and see how far you’ve grown from it and how better off you are.

Pain isn’t permanent boo. Keep reminding yourself that.

If you need to take some time away from people then do. Book a spa weekend. Have a Netflix marathon with a bottle of vodka. Sleep. Eat. Go for a walk. Do you for a while.

Do something to kick them back in the teeth. Yes cutie – get up, get out and be better than they are! (I don’t mean actually kicking them in the teeth – you’re better than that!)

Find things that make you happy and replace the negative feelings with that. You’re sad – draw a picture. You feel angry – go for a walk. You feel hate – Listen to music.

Remember there are good people out there. Find those people and make them your squad. They will build you up and make you a better person.

Turn your emotions into compassion for the person that hurt you.

Tell yourself you are normal to feel this way. You are.

If it gets too much please seek help in the form of a professional. Don’t let it get to a bad point my little cherry cupcake. It’s ok not to be ok.

Look at the good you do have in your life and be thankful.

Start a fresh and work on a new improved you.

 
Humans can be nasty little critters and it’s totally unfair when you get dragged into their nasty pit. But rise like the eagle I know you are. Brush down your wings and fly to a higher place.
Keep cheery my snack’a’jacks. We all get hurt sometimes.

Spring Is Coming

The end of February is in our sight line. The smell of daffodils and fresh cut grass is slowly making its way through the air. It’s time to get spring ready! 

Ok January was a trial month and February was a practise. March is were it’s at my little chicken pies. It’s starting to get lighter and warmer which instantly picks up your mood. It’s time to really tackle your new year resolutions. 

The earlier mornings mean it’s easier to wake yourself up. Try getting up 10 mins before your normal time and take on some gentle exercise. Blend yourself some fruits and veggies for a breakfast smoothie. Take the time to make a nice nutrient lunch for work and take on the day with positive vibes. 

At work use the warmer weather to take walks on your break. Maybe even eat outside on hotter days. Fresh air is fantastic for keeping yourself energised. Stop reaching for the coke cans you rascal. 

The lighter evenings also mean you could take a walk after work instead of the morning time if you really struggle to wake. Walk with your partner or friend so you gab on the way. Or pop in your headphones and rock out to some little mix. 

Spring also means the dreaded spring clean! You’ve lived like a hermit who hasn’t left their house in 20 years for the whole of winter. Open your curtains. Open your windows. It’s time to deep clean. Get yourself down the shops and buy yourself plenty of cleaning supplies. Use a whole weekend and clean from top to bottom. Yes your ceilings need dusting and your floors need hoovering. Go through each room with a bin bag and clear out anything you know you won’t use. Rule. If you haven’t touched it in a year. You won’t use it. Obviously have a separate bag for rubbish like junk mail and sweet wrappers down your sofa. Ya nastyz.

 Once you have cleared out dvds, clothes, pictures and other items why not have a car boot? You’ll be able to have a nice day out, get rid of clutter, recycle and make a penny on the way. 

A fresh start is just what you need to pick yourself up. Why not maybe change the colour of a room with the money from the car boot? Or move your furniture around to create a new space? Do some up cycling? After you’ve cleaned you’ll be able to do anything with all the positive vibes you’ve got. 

Get spring ready my little chicks and bunnies. 

Remember that I love you. 

X

Valentines For Everyone

Valentines. You either love it or you hate it. But there’s no need to be a negative nelly. Embrace the love! Being a single pringle doesn’t mean you cannot celebrate cupid’s day, in fact it means you should celebrate it more.Valentine’s day is too often associated with just couples, but in fact, times are changing. Being in love with someone doesn’t have to mean they are your significant other. You can be in love with your friends, family and best of all yourself.

I’m not talking prince charming from Shrek smooching in the mirror thinking you are better than anyone love yourself. Breathe. I’m talking being at one with who you are. Celebrating the fact that you are you. Look how gorgeous you are little sugar. Spoil yourself with flowers and chocolates. You should not have to rely on others to make you feel good about yourself.

Don’t get yourself mad about couples you see on Facebook being soppy – they are expressing how they feel being in love. That should be something for you to aww at. Not hate. So don’t be that guy.

Here is my list of things you can do running solo this year –

– Grab your girls/boys and go for a date night.

– Instead of going out – have a mate’s night in! Titanic and Tequilas Hun!

– Buy all the valentines chocolates, get in your pants and munch away

– Get yourself on Pinterest and make some cute valentine crafts

– Take yourself out on a date, it’s not a loser thing to go to eat on your own. Plus, this way you can go where you want.

– Make cards for your friends or family

– Rock out to a valentine’s playlist in your Sunday best.

– Order a dominos heart shaped pizza and get on some GTA.

– Order a dominos heart shaped pizza and get on some GTA.

– Have a photo shoot with your pets. Common ya love them too.

– Have a family cinema date.

– Try cooking a valentine’s meal for yourself. Heart shaped foods are the best foods.

– Write yourself notes on why you are a good person and pop them in a jar, every time you question your worth – take one out.

– Watch cebeebies bedtime story – hello tom hardy.

– Relax
See, there’s no need to be down in the dumps about being single little chicken.

 

Happy valentine’s day my gorgeous readers.

Remember that I love you

X

Sunday Is A Powerful Day.

How to Utilise Sundays to give you strength for the upcoming week. 

Use it’s hidden power to recharge yourself so that you are able to tackle anything in the next 6 days. Think of yourself as a Nokia 3310. A day of charge leads to a week of energy. 

But how can I unlock this glorious fountain of youth? 

Well, it’s entirely up to you. But, here are some things that I like to do on a Sunday that make me feel like a relaxed little mermaid floating into the unknown which is a Monday. 

Sleep. I first like to sleep in. Even if it’s just 10 minutes after your normal wake up time. Turn off that alarm and let your little peepers rest. Snooze it out and dream of Ryan Gosling. Mmmm. 

Stretch. When you finally have enough of snogging dream movie men. Stretch. Stretch every single part of yourself. I like to do a Surya Namaska. Give it a go. It’ll make you feel completely relaxed and ready for the day. 

Eat. Today is the day I always have a big breakfast. I’m talking sausage sandwiches, crossaints, fruit, coffee and juice. If you live with someone take time to sit with them to eat. Talk about your concerns for the upcoming week and ask for support during this. If you live alone catch up on current affairs. Knowledge on the world around you makes your problems seem more manageable. 

Clean. After your yummy feast of breakfast items. It’s time to clean. Not your home. No, you’re not going to lift a domestic finger today Henry Hoover. Get yourself into a steamy shower with your favourite fruity gels and soaps. I like to whack on classic FM during this moment. Don’t rush. Let the water fall down over you and lose yourself in a tropical waterfall. Finish with a fluffy warm towel. 

Beauty. After your shower sit on your bed in your towel and dig through your beautify box. Try a new moisteriser or hair oil. Paint your nails. Listen to music. Try new hair styles or eyeliner. Just have some you time. Feel beautiful honey bee. 

TV. Catch up on programmes you have missed. Watch all the blue planet episodes. Find films on Netflix you haven’t seen yet. Watch re runs of classic TV series. Get comfy in a fluffy blanket with snacks and watch away. Being a square eyes is acceptable on a recharge Sunday. 

Hobbies. Haven’t got a hobby? Get one. Knitting, reading, walking, swimming, sewing, painting, learning, writing, ect. Use some time in your day to feed your mind. Maybe try a new hobby? Just do a little something so you feel fulfilled. Adding a row to a scarf you’ve been knitting is a small but satisfying achievement. 

Positivity. Don’t let yourself get caught up in negative thoughts and feelings. Avoid toxic people today. Surround yourself with positive quotes. Compliment a friend. Listen to mood boosting music. Compliment yourself. Being in a positive mind set will set you up for the week ahead. Smile you little sunflower. 

Family. Sunday is prime family time. This may be your whole brood, your partner, your friendily or just you and the cat. Bond. Eat an evening meal together. Obviously the holy grail which is the Sunday roast. Tell stories. Laugh. Catch up. Enjoy yourself. We too often get pent up with stress from the working week that we forget the people we adore. Show affection. Show love. 

Preparation. When the end of Sunday is coming and that taste of Monday is in the air it’s vital that when you wake tomorrow, it’s easy. Prep your lunch. Put out your clothes. Pack your back. When the horrific noise of your alarm goes off at 6am you will feel less grizzly bear and more fluffy bunny. 

Rest. In between all of this. Rest. Kick your legs up and get comfy. Change your bedding in your bed so you can nap in cotton fresh paradise. Wear your comfy dressing gown. So no to going out. 

Now, this may not work every Sunday. Sometimes you will have things you need to do or places to be. But trust me. It’ll help if you just take some time out of that day for yourself. I completely understand that some have responsibilities and to those I take my hat of to you! But just don’t forget to love yourself. 

Hope you feel recharged kitten. 

Take on Monday like the strong person you are! 

X

A New Start.

Hey my loves, Its been a while.

Welcome to my brand spanking, OOO saucy, New blog – Just Jess.

For those who have no idea about me, I am 25. I live with my yummeh boyfriend Kieran. I have two pet fish called Sausage and Fishcake. I graduated from Uni in 2015 with a BA(Hons) Drama Performance and Theatre Studies degree. I have traveled and worked in Austrailia, in a zoo, How coool. And now I live happily in our cute little apartment looking over the city.

So why a new blog I here ya yell?

Ill jump straight in…

Basically you may remember me from  Breaking Adult. This was my first ever blog and the start of my mini writing career. BA will always have a huge place in my heart. I spawned it out of nothing and it opened so many door for me that I will always love it like I love Corey Feldman. Baby, I still love you despite the awkward dance moves ya cheeky squirrel. Unfortunately due to time issues and lack of interest I just sort of stopped. I stopped writing. I stopped something that I loved doing and that people loved reading. Well I hope you did. It sucks because BA had so much potential. I had so much potential and it was just 2016 luck that it didn’t progress as it should of. I felt its only right not to continue with it.It holds too much negativity for me now.

I have decided to start again with a fresh way of thinking. I wanted to create a blog with content that wasn’t under the BA umbrella. Something that I will be excited to write for again. Something that goes with my lifestyle. Something that doesn’t fit into a category. Just me. Just Jess.

You may hate it. You may love it. But just give it a try yeah. Ill snog ya. I’m still the same sassy Oprah Winfrey of positive thoughts and sarcastic animal references. PinkyPromise.

I’m not going to set myself time frames or deadlines. I will write when I feel the need to write. However, I’m not saying that wont be every day. ah ha haa

Sooo my little lamb kebab – Give me a follow. Tell your mates. Show your dog. Send me a DM. Share to your neighbor Howdydoodly. And just enjoy.

Thanks for the second chance.

x

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